Mix graham cracker crumbs, sugar, shredded coconut, and melted butter in a bowl until fully combined.
Press mixture firmly into a 9x9-inch baking dish. Chill in the fridge for 30 minutes to set.
Whisk pudding mix, milk, and coconut extract until thick, about 2 minutes. Let sit for 5 minutes to firm up.
Spread pudding mixture evenly over the chilled crust.
Top with Cool Whip, spreading it evenly.
Toast shredded coconut in a dry pan over medium heat, stirring until golden. Let cool, then sprinkle over the top.
Refrigerate for at least 4 hours before slicing into bars.
Notes
Crush the graham crackers finely: The finer the crumbs, the better the crust holds together. A food processor works best, but a zip-top bag and rolling pin will do the trick.
Press the crust down firmly: Use the bottom of a measuring cup or glass to press the crust into the pan. This helps it stay compact and gives you cleaner slices later.
Use cold milk for the pudding: Make sure your milk is straight from the fridge. Warmer milk can keep the pudding from setting up as thick as you want it.
Toast the coconut ahead of time: You can toast the coconut a day or two in advance and store it in an airtight container. Let it cool completely before adding it to the bars.
Chill long enough: Don’t rush the chilling time. Giving the bars at least 4 hours in the fridge helps everything set properly and makes slicing much easier.